Well, this was no good…

I ordered half an Italian and was promptly informed that they were out of French bread. The Italians love their French bread, you see. When I asked for sourdough, I was told I could either have rye or whole wheat.

You know it's a bad sign when a sandwich shop doesn't have any bread left at 1pm on a Tuesday. I suppose you could read that as a business so successful that they can't keep up with its crazy demand, but really… To me it just seems like lack of planning.

Anyway.

While my sandwich was being assembled, I stepped up to pay. The cashier asked what I was having, and I told him it was half a sandwich. Just as my card was being processed, the—dare I use this title?—artist came up and said "here's your whole Italian sandwich." The cashier looked at me suspiciously, clutching my debit card, giving me a "hey, are you trying to pull a fast one on me?!"-look while asking what I actually had ordered. Thus the sandwich went back, was cut in half, and returned to me, most of the ingredient having fallen off during the process.

This would all be forgivable if the sandwich was good. It wasn't. I wouldn't be surprised if the bread had been picked up from Rite Aid across the way, and I was going to compare the salami to Hormel, but that would be an insult to the fine cold cut company. It also came with a slice of green pepper and mayo.

Actually, I'm a bit at a loss what actually made it Italian. The salami, I assume? Or maybe the French bread would have pulled it all together and I missed the finer points of the sandwhich arteest's work?

Bottom line: It didn't taste very good. Sandwich Gardens should be avoided.

PS: There are two tip lines on the receipt. One regular and one dedicated to the maitre d'. This is apparently a very exclusive place.

I usually go for cappuccinos or Americanos when I grab an espresso based drink, but that's not to say I'm a fascist purist in my coffee choices. As Black Tie often delivers blended drinks that aren't just syrupy messes, and as I've had some experience with things that are spicy before, I was intrigued by their Intense! menu, and decided to go a bit outside the same-ol'.

So I don't know, maybe I set myself up for a bad experience? I've had spicy coffee that was good before, but a Dark Chocolate Cherry Chipotle at the most intense spiciness—the Volcano -- could have gone either way. Long story short: This was not good. It could have been good. But it wasn't.

The main problem was that each sip felt like two drinks from two different cups: one cup of coffee and one cup of hot sauce. You taste the coffee up front, then the spiciness after you've swallowed. That is not a good thing. Had the spiciness been incorporated into the coffee I think it might have been OK, but a chaser of hot sauce after a rather sweet mocha… It sort of just confused the tastebuds.

On the upside, I will admit it was spicy at least, which is always a gamble.

I like Black Tie. They often make nice Americanos. The Intense! menu, though, I'm not so sure about. 

It's a familiar scene: You sit at a restaurant—let's for argument's sake say Sante—and the menu has more foreign words than English. Mirepoix? Zabaglione? Shirred eggs could be good, but what is it? You could ask the wait staff of course, but really, seeing that you are a Better Taster and use an iPhone… There must be an app for that.

And I'm sure there are plenty, but now you have another option with our very own Food Dictionary! Even better, seeing that this is a web app, it will work in any newer incarnations of WebKit browsers, including the one used in Android 2.2. (Chrome and Safari will also display the site on your desktop.)

You can simply access it by browsing to the website, and, on the iPhone, press "+" and "Add to Home Screen" to run it like an app in the future.

This is still in early testing phases, so things might not work as well as it should (I've only tested it on an aging iPhone 3G myself) but if you use it, at least you don't have to worry about updating the app, as it's all run on the web, where we'll update it for you.

As for the definitions, most were nabbed from Wikipedia, so let us know if you find any errors.

Now go try it.

Books have been written about being a good host, but being a good guest, that kind of has been left to the individual's discretion. This is probably not a good thing, seeing how the Northwest for some reason thinks a plaid REI shirt is good enough for formal occasions.

So with the assistance of Skikk og Bruk, here are a few random etiquette pointers you might want to take into consideration next time you're invited to a dinner party or whatever other type of formal or semi-formal occasion. Heck, you might even get to apply a few of them to informal get togethers.

• Make sure to bring something. A bottle of wine is pretty standard. Even two bottles if you have a tendency to toss a few back. Bringing something, anything, is a good way to prove you're not there to mooch. 
• It might be worthwhile asking the host what you can bring for more formal get togethers.
• Don't bring food unless asked to. 
• If dietary restrictions prevent you from eating any types of food prepared in the same area as the foods you can not eat… Probably a good idea to mention this before the party as opposed to during.
• Give the host a head's up if you're going to be late. And if "late" means "an hour late" you probably should just RSVP with a "no."
• On the flipside, getting there too early is not much better than being late.
• No, seriously, a plaid REI shirt won't really do at a formal occasion. A tie won't help.
• Complimenting the food (or anything else) is kind of a must. Unless it really is bad. Then words like "interesting" or "enthralling" could be used instead. You have to say something at least!
• Don't bring kids to formal parties unless you check with the host that it's OK.
• Running off to talk on your cellphone is kind of rude. Excuse yourself and step into a private area if you have to make a phone call or SMS or whatever.
• Politics and religion aren't good topics of conversation unless you want to piss people off. (And that's kind of frowned upon during dinner parties.)
• Don't leave before dessert—Larry David was sadly wrong about that one.
• On the other hand, leave gracefully at a decent hour. The host shouldn't have to ask you to leave.

Just a few good ones to keep in mind. We've all broken a few of those at least once, but hey, why not strive to be better?

Another good, though not great, canned entry from Maui Brewing.

It poured a light golden color, with a pretty decent head. A quick whiff revealed a citric scent—think oranges and lemon; maybe something a bit sweeter like pineapple. There were hints of hops in the back.

This might have been the first sign of the slight disappointment I felt about the beer. Maui advertises no less than seven hop types used in the IPA. I had expected it to pull me by the nose down into the beer. It didn't.

In fact, a sip would quickly prove that this is more of a fruity ale with a delicate smooth hoppiness to it. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but the way it was advertised seemed to suggest a hop fest. Had it been a blind taste test, I would probably have guessed it was a pale.

So it is big and swell, but possibly not very IPA-y. Definitely recommended as a summer relaxer, but as far as hoppy ales go, it is kind of a letdown.

Coffee Social is still socializing after a change in ownership, it's just not quite as social as it once was.

That's not to say the new Coffee Social is bad per se, it's just not quite as good as it once was. Switching out DOMA, for example, was a less than stellar move. BellaSelva isn't awful, and it is organic, but the Americanos I've had there since the substitute have not been to the standards of yore.

Food wise Coffee Social has moved away from pure organic fare. They do have more gluten free options, which probably is great for many, but the quality of what they offer has, sadly, gone downhill. The OMG! cakes might not have made me go WTF?, but I didn't l33t speak to the heavens over them either. They're just a bit dry and dull.

Across the board I'd say Coffee Social has made changes for the worse. I'm not going to slag it off, saying it's awful, as it's not. It's as simple as something that used to be excellent and no longer is.

Welcome to the social, like the great philosopher once said. It's just not as social as it could be.

128 W 3rd has had a checkered history as far as cuisine goes. Two Bombay Palaces, one awful diner, and now back to an Indian place again. Taaj, luckily, is not shabby at all.

Not that it's overly exciting either; this is another North India style restaurant, which doesn't make it that different from Spokane's other Indian spots, limited as that amount might be. At lunch they have a $10 buffet, while their dinner menu is large, with a good selection of vegetarian dishes.

The food is good, though not quite outstanding. Better than Top of India, not quite up there with Taste of India. Think a fairly standard menu for the most parts: You get your masalas and currys and all lovely they were. The lamb meatballs were excellent as was the saag. Heck, everything was good, it just wasn't that different from the norm. The naan was a bit more dense, certainly, but we're not talking huge surprises here for most of the main dishes. That's not a bad thing when the food is good, however.

With that said, the dessert might be Taaj's ace up the sleeve. Both the rice and mango pudding were fresh tasting and very refreshing. Seeing how most desserts just weigh you down, this was a welcomed ending.

Taaj has been open for about a week and is already showing great promise. Hopefully it will break the streak of it's predecessors—I know we will be back at least.

OK, so I am probably not talking about you. I am, however, talking about him. And her. And that one in the back.

You know the type: the self-proclaimed activist. Usually young in age and all about being local and a non-consumer. That's what they preach, at least, but any actions seems to be forgotten about. At night they turn into the hipster, but don't call them that, because they don't like "labels." Hipster-activists… Hiptivists… There are plenty of them in Spokane; the herd tends to mingle around Baby Bar with their fixies and complicated shoes.

The thing I don't quite get is this: If the Hiptivists are so into supporting local establishments, why don't I see them in local restaurants that are big on local ingredients and high quality food? A good example was our visit to Italia Trattoria where we were the youngest people by far. Shouldn't people be lining up around the block to support these restauranteurs? You can replace "Italia Trattoria" with anything from Sante to Latah Bistro. The Blue Hair Club is abundant at all these places; the Hiptivists are not.

So. What could the reason be? There are two possibilities I'm leaning toward…

A) The Hiptivists are cheap. This would explain why they feel extremely comfortable with $1 PBR nights. But I actually think the real reason is…

B) They have little taste. I tend to stick more with this one. I mean, why spend—shock and awe and lo and behold—$13 on some gnocchi when beer nuts come free? And hey, the Hiptivist uniforms don't come cheap either; gotta save up for those. 

My point here—and I do have one—is that many Hiptivists are leaving Spokane, claiming places like Seattle or Portland (god forbid they went anywhere else) are so much more cultural. If you want culture, then good dining is about as cultural as you can get. The Hiptivist, at very best, only minimally supports this. Possibly because they don't understand it.

Meanwhile, the Blue Hair Club is out there and they're loving it. When a new place opens, they're in line from day one. The Blue Hair Club literally hungers for culture.

In other words… Maybe the Hiptivist should put down the PBR and take some cues from The Blue Hair Club. You know. Support local businesses; support local culture; learn how to class up a bit. Spokane certainly needs some of the latter.

It's tough, but I hope to see it happen some day.

And with that I take my condescending-boots off. For a little bit.

Is it fair to review an establishment the same week they opened? Many will say "no" and those same many will therefore be wrong. It doesn't matter if a restaurant has been open for a day or a year; if customers are to cough up their hard earned cash for a meal they have a right to do some research. Mainstream media, blogs, restaurant review sites… Should a potential customer have the desire to read reviews before going to a place, that is their prerogative. I still firmly believe that anybody with more than an average interest in food should ignore reviews, and figure things out themselves, of course, but that's a different discussion. And, of course, any spot that gives a poor first impression in their early days should be revisited and reevaluated.

Then there are places like Italia Trattoria. Places that run almost flawlessly after a week of being in business. This is the kind of standard new restaurants in Spokane should strive for. Heck, Italia Trattoria's standard is the kind any restaurant should strive for.

For the most part the spot captures the true trattoria feel perfectly. Italia Trattoria feels laidback and casual, with plenty of hearty Italian dishes. The service is friendly and quick and, thankfully, professional. The food, magnificent, the kind of authentic cuisine you get in a classic trattoria.

I tried the Barollo (I thought it was spelled "Barolo" but whatever) braised pork cheeks which were truly delicious. The cheeks were perfectly braised; nice and tender; not too fatty. The chard came as a very flavorful companion. A pork lover's dream, in other words.

Top That's gnocchi, too, was stellar, and a good contender for the best gnocchi in town. Served with a roasted tomato sauce, nice and chunky, this was the type of authentic Italian cuisine Spokane sorely has been missing. Yet, thankfully, no more.

The tiramisu was a bit different than any other I have had. It's hard to explain, but give it a shot anyway, as it was good. The flavor was exactly what I had expected, in fact, it just wasn't layered the traditional way. Which is just fine. The panna cotta was A+. Flavorful and refreshing, served with a nice biscotti.

All the dishes were reasonably priced—$20 for the most expensive dinner item—and just the right size. No Olive Garden bottomless plates to be seen. Thank god.

The only thing that put a small damper on the experience was the same issue Cafe Marron had: The table were placed way too close together. Now I'm all for an intimate dining experience and all, but when each table tried to drown out the others by yelling… Well, it got a bit ridiculous. Remove a few tables, and everything would have been so much better.

There is no excuse for not trying Italia Trattoria. None whatsoever. This is as close to a perfect trattoria we have in this town or, for that matter, most other places. Run out to Browne's Addition now and try it, otherwise the Communists win.

(Photo courtesy of @andrewzahler. Used without any permission whatsoever!)

Spokane has never quite been a haven for frozen yoghurt, possibly because a large part of the year here is… frozen… (See what I did there?!) This is too bad, but there you go.

Froyo Earth is hoping to buck the trend with its recently opened self-serve spot. I got to say, I quite like this whole concept: You grab a container and choose from ten flavors and add toppings of your choosing. Price is based on weight. Pretty straightforward.

You can, of course, choose multiple flavors, and with flavors paired up you can even create a swirl. Which is fun. 

Nothing was too over the top here in terms of selection. You have your standard chocolate, strawberry, peach, etc. The flavors were very good, though, and the fresh fruit toppings actually tasted fresh. In other words, everything here seemed to hold a pretty high standard, Hershey's Syrup aside.

Froyo has only been opened for a week, so we can only hope they will have a more exciting selection soon. What's there, though, is all very tasty. This is definitely a good spot for frozen yoghurt.